dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
