you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
