11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
