I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
