i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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