I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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