Taylor Swift is so right about you.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I smell like Dick and happiness
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