1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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