Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
