Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
