Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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