Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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