I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
