they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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