awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
