is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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