I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
