You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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