He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
