im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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