I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
