I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
