i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
