When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
