shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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