I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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