His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
