Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
