Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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