dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
