Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
