i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
