She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
