I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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