Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
