And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
