I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
