i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
