i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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