Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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