Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
