You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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