I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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