imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I didn't notice because vodka
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
