She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
