Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
