She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
