I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
