3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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