Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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